Let my soul be at rest again,
for the Lord has been good to me.
Psalm 116:7 (NLT)

Thankful

Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble, and he brought them out of their distress.  He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed.  They were glad when it grew calm, and he guided them to their desired haven.    Psalm 107:28-30 (NIV)

Fun at One

I've heard people say it, and I'm a believer - one is the most fun age.  Each day Allie does something to surprise me - it can be the way she points at something, a word spoken, a gesture, dancing, running, kicking a ball, playing with her toys, sharing her food with me, giving hugs and kisses... there is always something NEAT going on!  I love how she picks her feet up for me to put on her shoes - how she holds on to me and raises her leg when I'm putting on her pants... it's those little things that make you stop and wonder where the time went!  How do they learn so much, so quickly?!!!  She is truly amazing... and truly our child.  She can be quite moody at times, and she's just started to have a fit here and there - just the other day she stomped her little feet and threw her arms up over her head, haha!  She definitely got that from her daddy, LOL!  And she is NONSTOP... into everything and then some! If she's not pulling out, she's climbing up!  She wears me out, and I wouldn't have it any other way!

Mighty Fond of My Family

I love visiting my family - just adore them so much.  The 150 mile distance kills me - I'm frustrated they aren't closer, but so thankful it's not more.  My brothers hardly ever come see me - my parents have cut back - my sister does the best she can.  Me driving down is just easier on everyone else.  It's just a matter of getting the right time.  (I guess I tend to visit at least once a month to every other month - my husband thinks this is way too much - ugh, he doesn't get it!)  My daughter is always slow to warm up to everyone... after all, there are a lot of people to see.  I can only imagine how much easier that would be if it were more often - and how much more everyone would enjoy her if she were more comfortable with them.  I know the stranger awareness thing is normal, but I know it breaks their hearts that she doesn't know them yet.  I know time will ease that; for now, they take the doses they get.  Seeing my grandmothers REALLY sends her over the edge - I don't know why it's so traumatizing, but every time we visit their personal care home she loses it.  Yes, it's probably the smell and all that white hair, haha, but really, the "agony" she expresses is just awful! Yesterday she held on SO tight and cried such a pitiful, uneasy cry.  I feel so sorry for my grandmothers - they want so badly to get close and hold her!  I keep praying things will get better!  She was so cute tonight... my brothers and sister-in-laws came over and she put on a nice show for them - talking away nonstop on the phone, laughing, dancing, etc... was so funny.  When they left I was so grateful for the time we'd had together.  I hate knowing I have to leave tomorrow... I'm always excited to get back home, but this is home, too.  Seems like there is never enough time - I suppose it will always feel that way?!!!    

Blogging Blahs

I must say, I really hate that I've lost my blogging spirit lately... err, maybe this past year is more accurate than lately!  I have kept myself from downloading the day to day happenings of my daughter - why - I have no idea, but why start now? LOL.  I think this is an indicator that I'm not making enough time for myself, right?!!!  I admire so many bloggers out there, thumping the keys every day, telling sweet and hilarious tales of their journey... or telling nothing at all... they just tell - hence this whole, great blogging thing.  So many days I've wanted and needed to post, but I just didn't make it here.  Maybe I'll get back to some consistency one day!  

I say it every year, but I really love Fall... I love the weather, the sports, the holidays, the fairs, the colors, pumpkins and leaves... everything just feels good! Our house was ready for Halloween the day we returned from vacation a week ago, LOL! My husband begged me to decorate early so that he could enjoy it longer, haha.  I carved FOUR pumpkins (Funkins actually) - I've had them for 2 years and never quite got around to it!  After much debating, haha, we decided that Allie will be an Angel - of course she's not trick or treating, but we'll dress her up and take the wagon for a spin. We're looking forward to it!  

So I'm down visiting my parents and it seems to be here that I contemplate and evaluate things a little more than usual!  Not to bore, but it's been so, so long since I've felt like myself.  I'm in SUCH a spiritual rut... and the truth is, I've been here so long that I've gotten way too comfortable.  Instead of getting up, moving out, breaking away, I'm just not dealing with it.  I can tell you all kinds of things, but I have no excuses!   I'm so hard on myself, but I'm so, so very disappointed in myself!  And it's not like I don't have enough in my  life to motivate me... yet here I am, stuck in this monotonous groove... ughh. 

OK, that's it for Deep Thoughts.  Maybe more later. 

G'nite!

Cake Fun

I'd always envisioned making Allie's first birthday cake - thought I'd make something relatively "healthier" than store bought, organic as possible, and I just knew I could decorate it just as cute as anyone else.   So a few weeks ago it occurred to me that I better take a stab at this before the big day.  

So yesterday I baked a cake and had my very first experience with fondant... I was really worried about it, but as it turns out, I found it to be incredibly easy to work with and took me no time at all - I love this stuff! (Yes, I used ready-made fondant, but next time I'm going to take a leap and make my own!)  I know it's too thick and of course there's more decor on this lil' cake than should be, but I was just playing and having fun with it... I thought it turned out super cute.  Now I just have to decide on a design for Allie.  Not sure I'll make her "smash" cake with fondant, but we'll see.  I can't wait to make another one! 

The Shack

I just read The Shack - anyone heard of it? (If you do happen to check out the link, don't read too much about the plot!)  My husband actually brought it home - I'd never heard of it.  His co-worker told him about it and he got it that same day.  To my surprise, he'd already read half the book the first day... I don't think my husband has read a book in the 5 years we've been married, haha! He's a newspaper-magazine junky!  Anyhoo, he told me I would love it, and of course I took over and started reading.  I finished it last night and all I can say is that it was great, interesting, and overwhelming... really, it covers every emotion imaginable. Definitely worth the read to everyone!